


we'll feel distant embraces

by byronicmaiden



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux, Love Never Dies - Lloyd Webber, Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: Attempted Murder, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, attempted smothering, erik's feelings are a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10738548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byronicmaiden/pseuds/byronicmaiden
Summary: For the second time in his life, Erik stood in the complete darkness of Raoul de Chagny's bedroom.





	we'll feel distant embraces

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "numbers" by daughter

He could do it.

He could do it, and it would be so easy. He could do it and he'd be free, finally. Just suck it up and shove the pillow over his face until he stopped fighting, stopped breathing. Tell Gustave his lazy, spoiled, shitty father had finally left, and take his son back to Paris, back to the Opera House, back to where he should've been raised.

For the second time in his life, Erik stood in the complete darkness of Raoul de Chagny's bedroom, Raoul lying asleep below him. He remembered every detail so well. Raoul's chest rising and falling, the curtains gently billowing, the cold night air slipping in.

This time, however, he had no reason not to simply kill him. No Christine to keep him alive for.

No Christine at all.

He sat down, gently as he could, on the edge of Raoul's bed. They hadn't been this close since that night, ten years ago in Paris. When he climbed up Raoul's balcony, like some polluted Romeo and Juliet, and watched him sleep, tried to understand what Christine found so wonderful about him.

Back then, when he soundlessly ran his fingers through Raoul's hair while he slept, admired his body under his bed sheets, leaned inches from his face and forced a kiss on him, because _if Christine can have him, why can't I_ , he briefly understood. And it felt so good, too- _look, Christine, I have your precious little husband, watch as I violate him, make him mine, my property. Look, Christine, I do not even need you anymore._

He did not feel that way now.

Slowly, he raised the heavy pillow and shoved it over Raoul's face. He pushed down, harder and harder until Raoul started to fidget. _This, this is for the life, the woman, the son you stole from me, this is for taking away my Christine and hurting her and using her and getting her murdered. This is for everything you did, you ungrateful, lazy, spoiled-_

Raoul reached up, grabbed Erik's hand and clawed at it, trying to push him off. His nails scraped at Erik's arm, leaving long, pink scratches.

A flash of Raoul fast asleep, back in Paris, the feeling of his lips beneath Erik's, so still and perfect, and how pitiful he looked tied to that portcullis a day later. How desperate and pathetic he was, how badly he wanted to be Christine's savior. A flash of him on his knees, pleading for her life. For his life.

As if he had no control over his actions, Erik immediately threw the pillow to the floor. It slid a few feet across the hard wood, stopping under a chair.

He turned his attention to Raoul, who'd sat up straight, gasping for air.

"Are you alright?" Quickly, Erik took Raoul's hand, felt his pulse race. "What was it? Another nightmare?"

"Erik…?" Raoul pulled his hand away and rubbed at his eyes. "What are you- how did you get in here? The door…I locked it…" Raoul's door was always locked. It didn't take long for Erik to pick it open, and frankly, he was surprised he hadn't blocked it with a chair. He should've. Would've been smart.

"You must've forgotten to tonight. Now, are you alright?"

Raoul moved as far from Erik as possible, sitting on the complete opposite side of the bed, pressed against the wall. Erik climbed further onto the mattress.

"I couldn't breathe…"

"I could tell. You were gasping in your sleep."

"Why…why are you in here?" Raoul's voice was heavy, slurring, his brain still half asleep.

"Shh," Erik brushed Raoul's hair out of his eyes. "Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter. Go back to sleep." He stroked his fingers across his face, brushed them over his lips. He wanted to know the taste of those lips again, wanted to know if they'd still taste so sweet and pure. He wanted it so badly.

Raoul fell back onto the bed, seemingly lulled by Erik's soothing motions, eyes drifting shut. Erik hovered above him for a long moment, waiting for Raoul to fall back asleep, before leaning forward and pressing a light kiss to his sweaty forehead. "Don't worry, love."

If Raoul felt the kiss or heard what he said, he didn't show it. Erik wished he had. He'd just done something sweet for him, the least he could do is kiss him back. Erik had to restrain himself from shoving his hand over his mouth or wrapping his fingers around his throat. Again.

He slipped under the covers, finally able to press his body to Raoul's. He watched his steady breathing the rest of the night, but not before returning the almost-murder weapon to his bed.


End file.
